A discussion with an internet commenter

[scene:	daylight, I am sitting on the side of a wooded path]
Me:	[is bitten by snake]
Me:	[to myself] Oh god, that was a copperhead. Those are poisonous! Fuck.
Internet Commenter:	[passing by, looking down at phone]
Me:	Hey! Hey! Can you help me? I've been bitten by a poisonous snake and I don't know what to do.
Internet Commenter:	[looks up from phone; snorts] That's impossible.
Me:	What! I was just BITTEN by a poisonous snake and now I am BLEEDING. [shows Internet Commenter the bite marks] What do I do??
Internet Commenter:	[rolls eyes; adjusts glasses; sighs] I think what you mean is that you were bitten by a VENOMOUS snake. Snakes aren't POISONOUS. They secrete VENOM. You see, they have these glands--
Me:	[dies]
FIN